I was just leaving the house when I noticed I didn't have my phone... And in a brief moment I thought "No, leave it there charging up, I'd love to be with out it for a while." I didn't want to keep checking for an email that I consider to be late, or for message I want but haven't got yet, or re-reading a message I did get but don't like! I don't want to check for a new view or a like or share on one of my FB pages that I use to promote myself or the endless chatter therein. "Leave it there I don't need it", I thought and then I remembered I did! I need it in case my husband or daughter calls, and as a time piece; it's my clock telling me when to stop being where I'm being so I can go be some place else.. so it seems I do need it. And there it was - a metaphor for thought .. the creative energy through which we experience our lives. Really useful.. except if I start using it as a distraction from the truth of who I am. Then, it does not tend to bring me the joy I appear to be looking for. Obsessively looking at thought, analyzing, digging at it, identifying with it, fixing it - with more thinking - (like scrawling through different apps on my phone for validation or reassurance) It never works! It's simply not the correct use of this creative gift. When I know I'm the Thinker, from the Space within.. I'm aware of thinking but not caught up in thoughts. Thoughts pass through - just bringing me my moment to moment experience of life.. moment by moment by moment. New thoughts come through and the space seems to expand and I experience a flow; an aliveness, in tune with the present moment. I hear fresh new thought and it sounds different.. Ping! Wisdom somehow coming through, Wisdom in the moment; "No Mia take your phone you need it in case your daughter calls." And she does.. just as I've parked the car, and am holding my phone to check the time and set my alarm so I'll know how long I have until I need to be some place else.. and she calls because she needs me to go be some place else - Now. So I go and pick her up and we hang out! Not what I expected - thank goodness I had my phone with me - bringing me this moment!
Who am I? I'm a life coach; a three principles based life coach. At the moment I mostly give talks at Woodbridge library. I'd like more people to come along so here's my best attempt at suggesting why knowing something about the foundations of our human experience is valuable. I'm a mother of three wonderful children who fill me with such gratitude and joy my heart aches - more often than I could ever have expected... And it's such hard work, isn't it? - The driving around, cooking, and washing and bed times - whoa the bedtimes..! And a wife - what a paradox! Why is it sometimes so hard being with the man I love so much for who he is without constantly complaining about who he is. (Fortunately just in my head! It's just in my head, right?!) I'm a home carer - which I think we all recognise can be described as a challenging job. Yet some how, unexpectedly and unashamedly (see earlier post!) I really love it. I'm a daughter of divorced parents, with all the problems the new family configurations we've created entails and of a mother with Alzheimer's. I'm miles from any of them - have an insight into old age and dementia and notice how the set up we've got at the moment sometimes scares the hell out of me! And I'm transitioning from being a home-ed Mum to having three schooled children.. After 7 years of alternative we are now, apparently, mainstream. Sometimes it feels like school parents are relieved that we've finally come to our senses and the home-ed community, I'm guessing, thinks we've lost them! .. And neither is true; nor any thoughts or opinions I have now or have had in the past about education; home or school.. because we largely ignored all our thinking when deciding to take them out or put them back in to school. Instead, it was the quiet paying of attention to the gentle sound or nudge, (or strong poke in the back) of Wisdom. That allusive, it-just-felt-right, sort-of-knowing, everything-fell-into-place (far better than I could ever have planned) - feeling, when things just happen a little bit beyond our own control.
Being in tune with Wisdom is, partly, what the Three Principles is about. Not needing to know in advance because Knowing that you'll know what to do when you need to do it, is way more powerful and reliable and a whole lot less stressful than thinking about it. If you're wondering how on earth you can live life largely ignoring your own thinking then it's time to take a closer look at thought.. or your thoughts or thinking - and how different they are. Because THOUGHT is a creative energy or a vehicle through which we experience the world but your individual thoughts are largely just old, repetitive, imagined futures or rehashed stories from the past and contain very little useful information about the present moment - though you will experience the present moment through Thought. If this sounds a little to complicated then don't think about it; but know this - stuff is out there; a 6am start to a busy working day of caring for folk, children that squabble and don't clean up after themselves, mother's that aren't the Mum you thought you knew, gardens that don't grow themselves (no, wait..) any way - there's stuff to deal with - that's real… but everything you experience about that stuff is made of THOUGHT.. an ephemeral, ever changing, flowing energy which keeps bringing you Life because there's no other way humans can experience their life except through Thought, think about it… And all that experience-of-life you are having Feels real because we are aware of it - I mean acutely AWARE of the frustration of a child who won't go to bed at bedtime, or a client that complains no matter how hard you try… all that thought is felt through CONSCIOUSNESS and in that moment it IS our reality, our totally individual created-through-thought reality. But it's not Real- it's as ephemeral as a cloud across the sun. You are in a world of stuff - formed and out there for you to deal with - but your entire experience of it is made of and comes through THOUGHT, an as yet, unformed, ever changing energy… We live in a 100% inside out created reality and knowing this is truly transformational.. Why? Because when you see you are experiencing all that stuff through THOUGHT it stops looking and feeling quite so substantial. The lines start blurring and nothing looks quite so solid. The landscape changes in front of you and things you thought were true somehow don't look quite so convincing.
There are days when bed times are a breeze.. a joy - same children, same bedtime routine sometimes handled with enthusiasm, laughter and patience, sometimes not so much! But when I see that it's my relationship to 'thought in the moment', and my understanding of where my experience is coming from that is creating the bedtime not my children, its possible to see new outcomes, things could be different; it doesn't have to go this way. When I'm filled with Love and gratitude whilst watching my husband spending hours putting up a shelf, because he's so careful and conscientious, is sharply contrasted with "why the hell does it take him so long to get things done", I know it's my thinking/consciousness that I'm experiencing, not my husband and but for my thinking I am free to love him regardless! With this understanding I see that no job is challenging and no person is difficult but for my thinking that makes it so (Shakespeare was on to something) and then I'm free to give anything a go, and enjoy what ever's unfolding in that moment - because if allowed to thought creates everything anew in the next moment. I'm able to just show up for my Mum, because I love her, not because I need to deal with her Alzheimer's - in that moment she's no less than a perfect human being, just so; loving, funny, kind, interested in me and her grandchildren just as she ever was, regardless of what her thinking in the moment is bringing her.
As the shifting thought created individual insubstantial reality I live in is playing out in front of my eyes moment by moment - what is constant? What can I rely upon? MIND; the infinite creative inherent organizing intelligence behind life, - growing oak trees out of acorns, spinning planets, beating hearts, healing wounds, guiding caterpillars in to butterflies, creating new life, changing seasons, growing gardens, yes- indeed growing gardens! Mind, as the energy behind Life, is the feeling of flow, of present moment aliveness, of full on engagement with what IS. And it's the very essence of who I Am. Mind, Consciousness and Thought; the Three Principles… more understanding of where my experience comes from, more compassion for myself and others, a melting away of judgement, a feeling of deep loving connection with others, new horizons in front of me, a falling away of pain from past experiences, lack of concern about future outcomes, a deep connection to the wisdom behind life! Feeling the excitement yet?
Do I still get stressed, shouty, low, annoyed - for sure, I'm human, I think stuff and sometimes I think it's true .. and so I feel all that thought and do, say and behave in ways that make sense to me, given my thinking and understanding in the moment - do I wake up and see TRUTH in a moment, yes, time and time and time again, every day. I create hell for myself and family - as often as heaven, but here I am - on this planet enjoying my experience of being human; the good, the bad and the ugly of it. In all those roles, and others yet to be, I experience plenty of thought; some profoundly unhelpful and critical others inspiring, creative and appreciative - but realising I am not my thinking about myself or what I'm doing with this precious gift of life liberates me into the space out of which thought arises.. I am the thinker, conscious of my connection to Life. I am Mind, Consciousness and Thought in action. I show up and serve, I show up and create, I show up and parent, I show up and Love… I have absolutely no idea how being a life coach/home carer, mum, wife and daughter is going to play out over the coming years - really not a clue. And I know I don't need to know. When I do need to know, I will. Because Knowing is who I am. This is an experience of comfort and Well-being that is out of this world - literally! It is the the Bliss, Grace and Wisdom of the All that Is. It is the vast nothingness out of which everything arises. It is who I am. I am nothing .. and at last, I know this is enough. Mia x
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” Rabindranath Tagore
An old friend who I've recently reconnected with asked me, "What do you do now?" .. The simplest of questions and yet I hesitated to answer. I typed the words 'home carer' and then deleted them as a strange mix of embarrassment and disbelief came over me. And then I was equally ashamed of those feelings. What do I do now? I care for people... since when was that something to feel ashamed of?
I'm beginning to see more and more clearly that at any given moment we are either busily engaged in the made up world of thought, made to feel very real indeed by the gift of consciousness, or fully present to the gift of life itself. So at work there are times when I'm fully present to the next bag of someone's rubbish, dirty plates or soiled bedsheets I have to deal with, and all my thinking about "how did I get here?!" Or another shower to assist with, more cream to apply, house work to do or meds to prompt (and all my thinking about "what hard, low status/low paid, and tiresome work this is") OR I'm present to the deep connection that's possible between two human beings, no matter the task at hand.
Sometimes I'm lucky enough to show up and connect with folk, deeply listen to their life stories and participate in their recollections of celebration, ambition, struggle, moments of joy, hope and perseverance or suffering and disappointment.
Today I sat with a woman who had played with the children of Alfred Adler while her Mum studied psycho-analysis with him(!), and I listened to Gilbert and Sullivan with a man who has a life time of memories stored in a collection of symphonies and chamber music that reflects his own, and European history. I walk in gardens which have been tended over decades by couples in love, and stare into the eyes of children in family portraits taken on cameras from another century. I enjoy the creativity of people who are (and always have been) more than their service packages and care plans or the careers they once had; RAF pilots, nurses who gave up the chance to marry, wedded instead to their profession, teachers, artists, home makers. I'm grateful for the company of families whose paths would not have crossed mine but for this job, and the wisdom of folk who have lived long enough to know that "things tend to work out in the end." We sit and chat and laugh and I listen; listen to their memories and share the stories of times passed, and in these moments of deep connection to another human being, all my personal thought disappears and I'm present to Life itself. And dropping out of personal thought and into this precious heart space is effortless - (I guess that accounts for the low pay!) And there's nothing more simple, natural, delicious and liberating than falling out of thought and into love. (No status there, but who cares!?)
Connection to folk from days gone by and experiencing their life with them through memory is to extend my life backwards and theirs forwards. It's to live together in a field of consciousness beyond and within the present moment.. and low paid it might be but priceless it most definitely is.
I'm grateful to work for a wonderful care agency with a fabulous, dedicated, hard working, gifted and loving team of colleagues. It's a low status job which simply shouldn't be the case and one day society might Wake Up enough to value our relationships with each other more highly than our relationships to money and stuff, but until and regardless of then, I'm mighty proud to be a home-carer.
The course "Creating the Impossible" with Michael Neill is coming to an end.. it's been wonderful and of the many insights I've enjoyed during the last 90 days the one described below seems the most potent today - because I see that what I do and how I show up isn't just about a "good use" or the "right meaning of" my life..(who knew!) but the inter-play between lives.. and this metaphor occurred to me about creativity and inspiration and why we are deeply pulled to be express our true selves - not so much for the peace it can bring to us, but the gift it can bring to others. Because today Creativity seems like a game of "Pass the Parcel"... which starts when, (after all the children have settled down in a circle), apparently from nowhere a massive parcel descends into the space - the creative idea from out of the blue? Around and around the hidden treasure moves from one child to the next, as the music plays and until it stops when one lucky small person takes a layer of paper off - (sometimes there's a sweet too!) The flow of creativity: a landscape inspires the painting in the gallery - inspires the poem in the book. The flower inspires the photograph, the music inspires the dance, an entrepreneurial idea that changes lives, a story that inspires a speech, a speech that changes history - and on it goes - a perfect flow of ideas and experience from one human manifestation of creativity to an other - the birth of a new being changing the whole world. From nothing, something and on it goes seemingly having a life of it's own... In the silence, for a few brief moments, all eyes turn to one person and they have the "ta dah" moment - look what I did! There's really nothing much to do in the circle but be present to where the parcel is - it makes me smile when one child loses focus and all the other children are shouting at them because the parcel's right there and they are looking in the other direction! - unaware of the constant nudge from their neighbour saying "it's you, it's your turn, take it!" No one knows when music will stop and for who, but that's all part of the fun. I've noticed not many parents get too hung up about the children that leave and rejoin the circle - it doesn't much matter but if you want to be in with a chance of feeling the delight of all eyes on you as you unwrap something potentially marvellous - you have to be in the game! And if you're in the game and you're not too bothered about when you'll get to unwrap something delightful, or what size or shape it might take - it's usually fun! So creativity - you just have to show up, listen to the music of life, face the right direction and keep your hands open! I'm thinking there might be an endless game of pass the parcel going on all around us, all the time.. how cool is that!! Mx
What a great call we had yesterday with Michael Neill and students on his course 'Creating the Impossible". I asked for clarity or new thinking on the issue I seem to be having at the moment: being stuck on trying to get my new website up and running. It really struck me how tiny the suggestion was that Michael made to me, which amounted to: "err, if you're stuck on the website, how about you do something else!" I can't help but wonder how such a seemingly small thing can have had such a HUGE impact!! I'm suddenly doing all sorts of other things, and moving ahead nicely with the project I'm working on. Today I've been so delighted by this! - and for some reason it brought to mind the 'plank and speck of dust' parable. (?!) I used to think this was about Hypocrisy.. (I think it is.. remove that plank from your own eye, before you set about ridding dust from your neighbour's...or even about not Judging others.. anyway..) - today I saw another interpretation, that if you remove the tiniest speck of dust from your eye.. that plank looking thing, it doesn't look like a plank any more! Tiny shift in Thought/Thinking - Huge Obstacle disappears! Cool Mx
I thoroughly enjoyed the webinar with Michael Neill today on the new programme "Going Deeper". As part of our reflections Michael asked how much of the time we look outwards for spiritual nourishment and insights and how often we take a reflective look inwards. It was an interesting question to pose. During the morning of the following day my husband and I had a small argument.. it was nothing serious but I huffed and puffed up stairs and, feeling angry at him, and then our relationship.. I thought "I really must read the relationship handbook again." [A Three Principles based relationship book by George Pransky.] And then I saw it! There in the moment - I went looking 'outside' for what might be useful to help me see things differently, instead of looking within. Seeing that was very liberating because almost instantly, on reflecting that I didn't have to look outside for wisdom or clarity, an insight (about how I'd been relating to my husband) occurred to me. All good so far. Then I saw that not only does looking outside for these kind of insights undermine reliance on my own wisdom it also burdens me with extra jobs. For now I have to add 'read relationship handbook.' to my to-do list! Time, seeming rather elusive, means of course I won't and then I have something else to be annoyed by myself about.. not only the argument with my husband, (that apparently only George Pransky can fix), but also "I'm rubbish because I never get my to-do list done"! So this is excellent news, I get to see things from my own wisdom and there's potentially less work to do! Then I saw that if it hadn't been for this conversation and the question Michael asked us, that that thought would not have been flagged up. It would have sounded reasonable to me, and I'd have gone down the same old route as I always take.. which led to me feel deep gratitude for this course and the question, and which ultimately leads me to conclude that it is only when we are in deep and lively connection with others that we can truly nurture ourselves.. (Like plants growing in a garden instead of lonely and isolated in an old terracotta pot!) Conversations; questions and reflections with others is like creating a beautiful garden where we can all grow! Mia x
Got a certificate so it must be true!! As many of you know, I have thoroughly enjoyed and recently completed a course of study with the awesome Michael Neill and all the amazing people he attracts to Supercoach Academy, both as teachers, mentors and students. Over the last 9 months I have deepened my understanding and appreciation of the 3Principles and am delighted to tell you that I am now a fully qualified Transformative Life Coach.
In 2013 I came across the Three Principles and I knew I'd found the something that effectively I'd been looking for all my life. If that sounds grand and rather over-stated, well so be it - it also happens to be the truth as I see it. Despite all the self help, energy medicine, spiritual healing and body therapies that I tried and tested, (to friends and family: thank you for your patience) still the searching went on. What very slightly unnerved me about my father's wedding speech was his summary of all the things I'd 'had a go at' in my life - which to him was apparently a source of pride in my adventurous spirit and to me an exaggerated testament to all the things I'd tried and given up on, before moving on to the next thing that would be the answer - the something that would be one thing that would explain everything. I do know now that what ever form our searching takes, whether we take one or a variety of pathways to find what we're looking for, and how ever we describe the very thing we're looking for, often we're all looking in the wrong direction. We mistakenly look outwards. We think we'll find answers, or security, happiness, peace of mind, a sense of fulfilment, in careers, partners, property, or experiences. The Three Principles turned my head, I looked within and found everything I'd ever wanted!
What was the everything? An understanding of where my experience comes from. The truth that we live moment by moment from the inside out. A surrendering of a need to know.. The endless potential for peace of mind, joy and love, no matter what. The expanse of compassion, forgiveness and love. The invitation to have fun, experience more, try stuff out, push myself beyond limiting believes about who I am. Knowing who I am. The end to fear, anxiety, stress… and a deep knowing that all is well. Well that certainly had a big impact on my life! .. and led me to Supercoach Academy 2016 which ended a month ago.. and now begins something else. Mia x