• May

    Who am I? I'm a life coach; a three principles based life coach. At the moment I mostly give talks at Woodbridge library. I'd like more people to come along so here's my best attempt at suggesting why knowing something about the foundations of our human experience is valuable. I'm a mother of three wonderful children who fill me with such gratitude and joy my heart aches - more often than I could ever have expected... And it's such hard work, isn't it? - The driving around, cooking, and washing and bed times - whoa the bedtimes..! And a wife - what a paradox! Why is it sometimes so hard being with the man I love so much for who he is without constantly complaining about who he is. (Fortunately just in my head! It's just in my head, right?!) I'm a home carer - which I think we all recognise can be described as a challenging job. Yet some how, unexpectedly and unashamedly (see earlier post!) I really love it. I'm a daughter of divorced parents, with all the problems the new family configurations we've created entails and of a mother with Alzheimer's. I'm miles from any of them - have an insight into old age and dementia and notice how the set up we've got at the moment sometimes scares the hell out of me! And I'm transitioning from being a home-ed Mum to having three schooled children.. After 7 years of alternative we are now, apparently, mainstream. Sometimes it feels like school parents are relieved that we've finally come to our senses and the home-ed community, I'm guessing, thinks we've lost them! .. And neither is true; nor any thoughts or opinions I have now or have had in the past about education; home or school.. because we largely ignored all our thinking when deciding to take them out or put them back in to school. Instead, it was the quiet paying of attention to the gentle sound or nudge, (or strong poke in the back) of Wisdom. That allusive, it-just-felt-right, sort-of-knowing, everything-fell-into-place (far better than I could ever have planned) - feeling, when things just happen a little bit beyond our own control.

    Being in tune with Wisdom is, partly, what the Three Principles is about. Not needing to know in advance because Knowing that you'll know what to do when you need to do it, is way more powerful and reliable and a whole lot less stressful than thinking about it. If you're wondering how on earth you can live life largely ignoring your own thinking then it's time to take a closer look at thought.. or your thoughts or thinking - and how different they are. Because THOUGHT is a creative energy or a vehicle through which we experience the world but your individual thoughts are largely just old, repetitive, imagined futures or rehashed stories from the past and contain very little useful information about the present moment - though you will experience the present moment through Thought. If this sounds a little to complicated then don't think about it; but know this - stuff is out there; a 6am start to a busy working day of caring for folk, children that squabble and don't clean up after themselves, mother's that aren't the Mum you thought you knew, gardens that don't grow themselves (no, wait..) any way - there's stuff to deal with - that's real… but everything you experience about that stuff is made of THOUGHT.. an ephemeral, ever changing, flowing energy which keeps bringing you Life because there's no other way humans can experience their life except through Thought, think about it… And all that experience-of-life you are having Feels real because we are aware of it - I mean acutely AWARE of the frustration of a child who won't go to bed at bedtime, or a client that complains no matter how hard you try… all that thought is felt through CONSCIOUSNESS and in that moment it IS our reality, our totally individual created-through-thought reality. But it's not Real- it's as ephemeral as a cloud across the sun. You are in a world of stuff - formed and out there for you to deal with - but your entire experience of it is made of and comes through THOUGHT, an as yet, unformed, ever changing energy… We live in a 100% inside out created reality and knowing this is truly transformational.. Why? Because when you see you are experiencing all that stuff through THOUGHT it stops looking and feeling quite so substantial. The lines start blurring and nothing looks quite so solid. The landscape changes in front of you and things you thought were true somehow don't look quite so convincing.

    There are days when bed times are a breeze.. a joy - same children, same bedtime routine sometimes handled with enthusiasm, laughter and patience, sometimes not so much! But when I see that it's my relationship to 'thought in the moment', and my understanding of where my experience is coming from that is creating the bedtime not my children, its possible to see new outcomes, things could be different; it doesn't have to go this way. When I'm filled with Love and gratitude whilst watching my husband spending hours putting up a shelf, because he's so careful and conscientious, is sharply contrasted with "why the hell does it take him so long to get things done", I know it's my thinking/consciousness that I'm experiencing, not my husband and but for my thinking I am free to love him regardless! With this understanding I see that no job is challenging and no person is difficult but for my thinking that makes it so (Shakespeare was on to something) and then I'm free to give anything a go, and enjoy what ever's unfolding in that moment - because if allowed to thought creates everything anew in the next moment. I'm able to just show up for my Mum, because I love her, not because I need to deal with her Alzheimer's - in that moment she's no less than a perfect human being, just so; loving, funny, kind, interested in me and her grandchildren just as she ever was, regardless of what her thinking in the moment is bringing her.

    As the shifting thought created individual insubstantial reality I live in is playing out in front of my eyes moment by moment - what is constant? What can I rely upon? MIND; the infinite creative inherent organizing intelligence behind life, - growing oak trees out of acorns, spinning planets, beating hearts, healing wounds, guiding caterpillars in to butterflies, creating new life, changing seasons, growing gardens, yes- indeed growing gardens! Mind, as the energy behind Life, is the feeling of flow, of present moment aliveness, of full on engagement with what IS. And it's the very essence of who I Am. Mind, Consciousness and Thought; the Three Principles… more understanding of where my experience comes from, more compassion for myself and others, a melting away of judgement, a feeling of deep loving connection with others, new horizons in front of me, a falling away of pain from past experiences, lack of concern about future outcomes, a deep connection to the wisdom behind life! Feeling the excitement yet?

    Do I still get stressed, shouty, low, annoyed - for sure, I'm human, I think stuff and sometimes I think it's true .. and so I feel all that thought and do, say and behave in ways that make sense to me, given my thinking and understanding in the moment - do I wake up and see TRUTH in a moment, yes, time and time and time again, every day. I create hell for myself and family - as often as heaven, but here I am - on this planet enjoying my experience of being human; the good, the bad and the ugly of it. In all those roles, and others yet to be, I experience plenty of thought; some profoundly unhelpful and critical others inspiring, creative and appreciative - but realising I am not my thinking about myself or what I'm doing with this precious gift of life liberates me into the space out of which thought arises.. I am the thinker, conscious of my connection to Life. I am Mind, Consciousness and Thought in action. I show up and serve, I show up and create, I show up and parent, I show up and Love… I have absolutely no idea how being a life coach/home carer, mum, wife and daughter is going to play out over the coming years - really not a clue. And I know I don't need to know. When I do need to know, I will. Because Knowing is who I am. This is an experience of comfort and Well-being that is out of this world - literally! It is the the Bliss, Grace and Wisdom of the All that Is. It is the vast nothingness out of which everything arises. It is who I am. I am nothing .. and at last, I know this is enough. Mia x